Proverbs

Every idea originates through equating the unequal. All things equal, I’ve learned to always keep a book of proverbs handy.

People in glass houses sink ships, of course that’s a given, but what about ships in glass bottles?

Look both ways before you cross the street, but never attempt to a cross a road if you can’t first get out of the kitchen, especially when cooking chicken.

It’s not easy to get ahead and a penny saved isn’t much anymore. On the other hand, a nickel saved is worth two in the bush, which is a start. Besides, two cents free can often be the last thing you want to hear.

I lost my punctuality with my virginity somewhere between Butch Cassidy and The Sting, but hey, always better late than pregnant.

Two’s company, three’s the musketeers, four’s the A-team – and I look great in a Mohawk. Some things in life get better as they grow and the more gold chains, the merrier.

Don’t change horses until they stop running, but what then? They say you can lead a horse to water, but how, I don’t know.

You can’t teach an old dog new math and young dogs can’t see rainbows no matter where they stand. If you lie down with dogs though, I can promise you’ll stink in the morning.

No one recites old limericks anymore so if at first you don’t succeed, get new batteries. After all, you only ever get out of something what you see in the picture on the box and batteries never seem to be included in the plastic sheathing.

There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder and when the blind lead the blind, veer out of the way as if everyone else on the highway’s driving in the wrong direction.

It’s always darkest before daylight savings time, but sometimes you can really use an extra hour of sleep. Even so, don’t put off tomorrow until you go to bed.

The pen is mightier than the pigs, but give them a spider stenographer and they might just surprise you. There are plenty of stories to see if you catch the light just right.

When running through a forest, never run more than half way in and make like a tree and get out of there when one falls. That is, only if  it doesn’t make a sound.

An idle mind is the best way to relax, but it’s an idle car that will save you gas, proving that sitting on a couch can kill two birds with one absent thought.

It’s handy in life, comforting even, to be a privy to a code of rules-of-thumb, but what’s the point if no two finger prints are ever the same?

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About peterdbarrows

Student at Grand Valley State University. Sports fanatic, hat collector, literature and movie enthusiast, connoisseur of all things prose. A social media philosopher -- poet in my own time.

4 responses to “Proverbs”

  1. isengast says :

    That was awesome.

  2. Anthony Corwin says :

    Great post my friend.

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